Family: What it actually means

Ever wondered what family actually is all about? Well here is our little tiki-taka on what family actually means. It is more than just a synonym. Read meaning into it and understand it just like it is without twisting anything out of it.

Friendliness – there is no better friend than your family. Think of going out and not having any hope, then looking back to see any of your parents or siblings saying “Hey! We are always here for you.” The family is peace, love and unity. Family is sacrifice. It is only the family that is a true friend in deed. It doesn't seek much from you when you have none and doesn't demand you to present anything when you have all. The desire of your parents is for your own good. The family is a friend that you can really trust, and don’t be fooled around by the mare stories that are going around. There is no better friend than your family member(s)

All-is-one – Yeah! No matter whether you are the step-child or step-mother; maybe your guys are just complete biologically; or you can tell me the story of how you were adopted. Family is a place where everybody becomes one and equal. Are you having issues and have nobody to run to? Think or running to daddy or Mom. How about that you’re cute sister or the brother that has always been there for you even though he doesn't show that much from his actions. Feel at peace because in the family all are one.

Merciful – earlier on we discussed about “spirituality” in the family. You see, the family will never take you to jail or enact harsh laws on you for just little disobedience. The family is lovely and they still want you no matter how bad you are. Maybe this is a good reason to quite your bad habits like smoking, drinking, robbery, prostitution and go back to seek peace with that home which calls you theirs. For your family so much loves you that they keep their arms wide, that you might come back in whenever you feel like – irrespective of your bad behaviors

Irrevocable – Ah! Now you see why we said that “walking away from your family is not the best solution.” I know it, you think he loves you and you are ready to quite your family because of him? Hey lil girl! Look me deep into the eye. In your entire life, you can only have one and only one family. Maybe your case is different from the little girl ha? Well it doesn't matter what your case is, what matters is that you should understand that the family is irrevocable and you should never think of abandoning your family no matter the circumstances. This is because what seems wrong today can be made right tomorrow by your actions of not running away but instead seating back and seeking for solutions.

Lovely – wow, this reminds me of my mom. Family is so lovely. Seeing my little sister play video games, how I played a lot with my dad during my childhood days, my mom cooking and serving for all, my kid brothers working out the solutions to their assignments. Oh, there is never a place lovelier than the home. The home is beautiful and sweet. It is peaceful and nice. It is the abode that makes me feel like there is no much difference between heaven and earth. Your family is lovely and your family loves you my dear. Believe me as you ready this.

Yours – finally, you should know that your family is yours. If you have anything that will better the family in anyway, don’t hesitate to contribute. Is your partner little down financially and you have the cash to spun the family ahead? Please do so. Your sibling needs blood or kidney (maybe other organs) transplant and you can help? Don’t even think twice about that. This is because your family is yours and it is your responsibility to make sure that you help those who are yours in any way that you can. 

Why walking out is out on your family is not the solution

Many at time, people are have adopted the idea of walking out form their homes as the ultimate solution to the problems to they face. Let me tell you something, while having issues with your partner of children is not encouraged, it is something that is inevitable. Sometimes war is the best way to seek for peace. For everything that happens in our lives, what I believe is that there is a reason for such. This is the same as issues that occur in our homes. The family as far as I am concerned will not be so much interesting if we don’t have issues with the people residing in it. For every problem, there is always a solution but you have to understand that what we are saying is a “solution” and not a “walking out.”

Well let’s begin with presenting an understanding of what we mean by walking out from the home and the factors that influences such decisions. When we say you are walking out from your home, what we mean is that when you have problem in your home, you prefer to move out and probably stay outside without coming back to solve the problem; or you prefer to share the issue with other people instead of your family.

People do this for a number of reasons. Maybe they don’t wanna be tempted into hitting the nagging wife, or maybe they don’t have solutions, or maybe they feel at peace with people outside their home. That is why we posted earlier that people should maintain high level of spirituality intheir homes.

You should know that even if you run away from your family problems, you will still come back to meet these problems. So, you should not run away. Instead you should seat back and relax, then call the people involved together and try to find a solution for the problem. As a parent, you will be laying the right foundation for your kids and the family at large by serving as a role model to your family, and also ending issues instantly without having to let them spread uncontrollably.

You see, the decision is not to run away but to face your problems and solve it no matter what it takes. So, don’t run away from your family, instead stay back and find the cause of any problem that the family is facing as well as the solution to that problem.  

Family is priority: Spend time together 

There are numerous reported cases of family negligence, and it can also be believed that some of the people reading this post have had such experience. This is very much common in movies and dramas that have been acted across the globe. Definitely it is understandable for you to say that you are very much engaged in business and work related activities which you need to maintain the family wellbeing. It is very important that you do such. However, let me ask you a question? Which is more important? The business or the family? The actual answer is both and some people might even go the long-way of saying business, but the most realistic answer should be the family. Yes! It is your responsibility as parents to work hard and earn money that you will use to sustain the family, but do you think all the family needs is you?

Why is Eminem, the award winning and inspirational superstar so obsessed with his mother? This is because he was not raised in the right way he would have loved to be raised. The father was not around and the mother as he claimed was into drugs and spent much of her time for her self-interest instead of the family. Still on that note, we can all believe that Eminem did the same mistake if you look at the lyrics of his “mocking bird” song. This is because be made known in an apology to his daughter that he “is sorry for not being around coz daddy was on the move and mommy was on the new!” While Eminem was all about money at that time (working hard to give his daughters the life that he never hard), the family needed him and this causes issues with his wife – which led to the eventful divorce.

Now you see that spending time with the family is important right? You should always make the family your priority. Don’t neglect your family or you could come back finding another person playing your supposed role in the family. Who knows, it could be your best friend and your wife might be having his babies alongside your own baby. Family time is cool for unity. You get to ask the kids questions about school and issues they face in life, then give them the necessary advice to combat such issues in their lives. You can also think of a timeouts like eating together outside, shopping, recreation and even holidays. Something that you all can come together and do like one family.

Let me make this known to you. Never expect your kids or partners to be so close to you and disclose the issues they face with you when you are actually distancing yourself from your family. In the process of such events, you should also understand that they might eventually find another person to fill up their lonely times with. The outcome will never be as you would desire. There are many cases of such.

The importance of spending time as a family cannot be overemphasized. It will provide the kids with necessary advice on issues faced; the partner with the much needed warmth; increase unity, love and respect in the family; increase harmony and understand; build mutual relationship and partnership with each other; and most of all, it will help build a happy home.

So family time should be priority. Try to come back on time for the family dinner. If your work is too cumbersome, then take your family out or spend time together during the weekend. Make rules that will regulate the time kids are allowed to come back into the family and set strict standards for adherence. It’s gonna help you in protecting their interest as well.

There is no better place than home, so there should be no better place to spend your time than in your home. The impact you make today will be of high influence in the future and you can hope to build up something meaningful from such. Therefore, bring out your time for you family and build unity through such experiences with other members of the family. 

Love and respect in the family

You must be very much familiar with the old sayings that “charity begins at home” right? Am glad for whoever that coined such because it makes things much easier. Charity should always begin at home and the focus of such charity should be defined towards ensuring the growth of love and respect.

There is something that we must understand. Respect as we stressed earlier in the “importanceof greeting” is not something that is one dimensional / directional. It should come from both ends. The ends of the poor and the rich, the ends of the old and the young; which means that the children should always respect their parents as is also expected of the parents to do the same for their children.

The way you respect your family in public will go a long way in building up the public image of your family and ensuring that people outside of your family also accord you with such respects as well. Basically, this is based on the understanding that what you do outside is what people view you as.

Another measure that can be applied in this case will come in the form of “what you give is what you receive.” Respect has also been described as “reciprocal” – which means that you must respect others if you wish to be respected. If that is the case, then why are some people in the family not respecting others? Why does the dad keep felling line an unapproachable God? Why is the mom not respecting dad?

You see, it’s these little things that begin to tear families apart. The lack of respect will increase the potential for power struggle between the mother and the father, as well as other members of the family. The end product can sometimes be violent, in some cases death and in normal cases divorce. Later on in this blog, we will address the issues that result to the lack of respect in the family, but for this section, the focus will be basically on the importance of respect.

On that note, you should understand as well as know that the basic benefit or importance of respect is that: it increases love! Yeah! Would you love or cherish some that respects you so much? Oh, now you see the angel we coming from right? This is why respect is very much important as it would increase the chances of people around you to love and cherish you.

If that is the case, do you see love growing in the family as a result of increase in respect and value for and/or between members of the family? So that is why you as parents must learn to teach your kids how to respect others, and also respect your kids in return. It is when they see you showing so much respect for them and your partner that they will increase and actually believe strongly in showing respect for you.

When such aspects of life are very much integrated into you as a person, then there is no doubting that you will carry this value outside of the family. The benefits of such are same as is in the value. It will create more love for you and value for your family. People will be respecting your family because you guys seem to be very diligent and respectful. You will find it easier to scale through walls in times of difficulties are more people will be willing to help you due to the high level of respect they have for your family.

So parents, we all have a big role to play here, and it is that we should teach our kids to respect others as well as respect our kids in return. Never wash your dirty linings outside! Let the value of the family be something that borders you so much and try at all times to create a great image for your family outside. See it as branding. The better you package yourself, the higher your chances of being viewed as valuable by people outside your homes. Kids, we also have our own role and duty, as well as obligations to respect our parents and people around us. This is because it will increase their love and positive attitude towards us. Always known that the measure you give will definitely be the measure you will receive. Carry respect very much high and make sure that you are not found wanting in that aspect of life. Respect is our social obligation. 

Greeting is important

Before we go into any advanced discussion, it is important to start with the basics, and was well all know, “greeting” is one of such. In all cultures across the globe, greeting is very much welcomed and necessary.

Well in this case, greeting will be defined as: acknowledging the presence of people around you. Note what it’s all about “people around you (everybody)” and not “elderly people around you (some people).”  

In most cases, the idea of greeting as is presented in most of the cultures is that greeting should first be initiated by the younger person in which the younger person is expected to acknowledge the presence of people around them. The most common cases are “good morning”, “good afternoon” and “good evening.”

However, you need to understand that we are all about maintaining happiness in homes. So if happiness is to exist, what will the greeting pattern be like? It would be based on acknowledging the presence of everybody irrespective of age. The child should be able to say “Good morning dad” and the father should be able to say “Hi son!”

There should be no boundary in homes and greeting can be initiated by anybody with the right mood and attitude. The main idea should be to create a spirit of greeting in homes and the kids should also be taught how to acknowledge the presence of people around them when they are not in their respective homes.

As time goes on, you will notice that this habit will become inbuilt and you begin to acknowledge the presence of people around you no matter where you are. The same is also applicable to your kids and everybody in the homes. What is the benefit? The benefit is that you will become more social and cordial towards people and people will be more likely to help you.

Imagine how you fell about being greeted. There is no doubting the fact that it puts you in the right mood to listen to such people and you would offer the necessary help is needed. This is basically why greeting is important and it would be inculcated in the family. RESPECT is the key here and as such greeting should be very much welcomed in homes.